Are You Living For Others Or Yourself?

Today, I want to ask you a big question—are you living for yourself, or are you living for everyone else?

Be honest—how often do you make decisions based on what you truly want… versus what’s expected of you? Maybe it’s family, society, or even that little voice inside your head that says, ‘You should do this.’

If you’ve spent years—maybe even decades—prioritizing everyone else, it’s easy to lose sight of your wants, your dreams, and your happiness. But here’s the truth: Your life should reflect YOUR desires, not just the expectations of others.

Today, we’re going to talk about how to recognize when you’re living for others, how to reconnect with what you actually want, and a simple exercise to start shifting your focus back to yourself.

Transcript

Hey there, beautiful friends! Welcome back to another episode of Aspire and Achieve with Annie!

Today, I want to ask you a big question—are you living for yourself, or are you living for everyone else?

Be honest—how often do you make decisions based on what you truly want… versus what’s expected of you? Maybe it’s family, society, or even that little voice inside your head that says, ‘You should do this.’

If you’ve spent years—maybe even decades—prioritizing everyone else, it’s easy to lose sight of your wants, your dreams, and your happiness. But here’s the truth: Your life should reflect YOUR desires, not just the expectations of others.

Today, we’re going to talk about how to recognize when you’re living for others, how to reconnect with what you actually want, and a simple exercise to start shifting your focus back to yourself.

Let’s talk about how this happens. How do we go from being kids who know exactly what we like, what we want, and what excites us… to adults who feel trapped in roles and obligations that don’t always make us happy?

Conditioning from Childhood – Many of us were raised to be ‘good girls,’ to prioritize others, to be helpful, and to avoid rocking the boat.

Societal Expectations – There’s this unspoken checklist we’re expected to follow: get a stable job, get married, have kids, take care of everyone else… and somewhere along the way, we forget to ask if this is what we truly want.

Fear of Disappointment – We don’t want to let people down. Whether it’s a spouse, parents, kids, or even friends—we feel pressure to meet their expectations, sometimes at the cost of our own happiness.

 Guilt – If we do put ourselves first, we feel selfish. But let me remind you: taking care of yourself is not selfish—it’s necessary.

Now, how do you know if you’re living for others instead of yourself? Here are some signs:

•  You say ‘yes’ to things you don’t actually want to do—just to keep the peace.
•  You feel exhausted, drained, or resentful because your time is spent meeting others’ needs instead of your own.
•  You make major life decisions based on what’s expected, not what excites or fulfills you.
•  You feel disconnected from your own dreams because you’re always focused on someone else’s.

If any of these sound familiar, don’t worry. Recognizing it is the first step to change. And trust me—you are not alone in this.

Now, let’s talk about how to shift from living for others to living for yourself—without guilt.

YOUR QUICK WIN – THE “MY LIFE, MY CHOICES” REFLECTION EXERCISE 

Here’s a simple but powerful self-reflection exercise to help you identify where you’re putting others ahead of yourself—and how to start shifting that balance.

 Grab a journal and answer these three questions:

•  What’s one area of my life where I feel stuck or unfulfilled? (Think about your relationships, career, hobbies, or even daily routines.)
•  Am I doing this because I truly want to, or because I feel like I should? (Be honest with yourself!)
•  What’s one small step I can take to make this choice more about me? (It doesn’t have to be drastic—just one small shift toward what you truly want.)

Here’s an example: Let’s say you’ve been in a career for years that doesn’t light you up anymore, but you stay because it’s ‘stable’ and it’s what your family expects.

 Your small step could be: researching a career change, signing up for a class in something that excites you, or even just admitting to yourself that you want something different.

The key is this—start noticing where you’re making choices based on others’ expectations, and begin reclaiming those choices for yourself.

Let’s recap:

 You deserve to live a life that reflects YOUR wants, not just the expectations of others.
 If you feel stuck, exhausted, or disconnected from your own dreams, you might be living more for others than yourself.
 A simple reflection exercise can help you recognize where you need to shift your focus—and start making choices that serve you.

As always, thank you for being here. You are worthy, your desires matter, and your life is yours to create. I’ll see you next week!