Grief Doesn't Define You: Moving Forward After a Loss

Today, I’m going to share my story of navigating loss, the symptoms of grief, why everyone’s process is different, and how you can start picking up the pieces—even in small, manageable ways. I’ll also share the tools and support that helped me move forward and find a new purpose, which ultimately inspired me to become a life coach and help other women navigate their own life transitions.

And as always, I have a free resource for you: my Grief Journal, which you can download to help process your emotions and take the first steps toward healing. You’ll find the link in the show notes or on my website.

Transcript

Welcome back. If you’re a returning listener, thank you for being here—you are part of my community, and it means so much to have you along for this journey. If you’re new, I’m so glad you found this space where we talk about navigating life’s transitions and challenges together.

Last week, we talked about the pain and recovery process after divorce, and I shared my own story of surviving two divorces and rebuilding my life. If you missed it, be sure to listen to episode 3.—there’s so much inspiration and practical advice waiting for you.

Today’s episode is deeply personal and incredibly important. We’re going to talk about grief and loss, a topic I know all too well.

In 2018, I lost my father to dementia. He wasn’t just my dad—he was my best friend and my hero. I left Pennsylvania and my four adult children in 2013 to move to Florida to care for him. Being there for him during his final years was both the greatest privilege and one of the hardest experiences of my life.

Then, in 2021, I was hit with a loss that shattered my world. On January 29th, my son-in-law was tragically murdered. Just 11 days later, my youngest son passed away from a fentanyl overdose. Three losses in three years—two of them only days apart—left me feeling like I’d been dropped on another planet. I was lost, broken, and unsure how to move forward.

Grief, especially the loss of a child, is a pain you can’t understand until you’ve experienced it. It’s consuming, disorienting, and so deeply personal. But I’m here to tell you that while grief may feel like it defines you at times, it doesn’t have to.

Today, I’m going to share my story of navigating loss, the symptoms of grief, why everyone’s process is different, and how you can start picking up the pieces—even in small, manageable ways. I’ll also share the tools and support that helped me move forward and find a new purpose, which ultimately inspired me to become a life coach and help other women navigate their life transitions.

As always, I have a free resource for you: my Grief Journal, which you can download to help process your emotions and take the first steps toward healing. You’ll find the link in the show notes or on my website.

Let’s talk about grief.

Grief is one of the most universal experiences, yet it’s also one of the most isolating. When you lose someone you love, it feels like the world keeps spinning while you’re stuck in a cloud of pain and confusion.

After my son-in-law’s murder and my son’s overdose, I didn’t know how to function. I walked around in a fog, questioning everything about my life. Grief can feel like:

• A heavy weight pressing on your chest that doesn't seem to ever lift.
• You may have an inability to focus or complete simple tasks.
• You might experience emotional outbursts, whether it’s crying, anger, or even laughter at inappropriate times.
• You may also experience physical symptoms like fatigue, headaches, or changes in appetite.

But one of the hardest parts of grief is how unpredictable it can be. One moment, you feel like you’re managing okay, and the next, something small—a song, a smell, a memory—brings you to your knees.

Someone sent me a stick drawing of a mom. Next to it was another stick drawing of a mom. On the second figure the line for the body was instead,a big hollow circle. The second figure portrayed a grieving mom.

And let me tell you this: there’s no ‘right’ way to grieve. Everyone’s journey is different, and that’s okay. We all grieve in our own way and on our own terms.

I want to share more about my story because I know how lonely grief can feel. Losing my dad was like losing my anchor. He was my biggest cheerleader, my safe place, and my guide. Caring for him during his final years was one of the most meaningful things I’ve ever done, but saying goodbye was devastating.

Then, when I lost my son-in-law and my son within 11 days, it felt like my entire world crumbled. My son was my youngest, my baby. Losing a child is a pain no parent should ever have to endure. It’s a heartbreak that changes you forever.

For months, I felt like I was floating through life, disconnected and unsure of how to keep going. But slowly, I began to take small steps forward. I realized that I couldn’t let grief define me, and that moving forward didn’t mean forgetting—it meant honoring their memory by living fully.

Grief is the emotional, physical, and mental reaction to loss. It’s complex and deeply personal, which is why no two people grieve the same way.

For some, grief may come in waves—sometimes intense, sometimes manageable. For others, it may feel like a dull ache that never quite goes away.

Grieving doesn’t mean forgetting or ‘getting over’ your loss. It’s about learning to carry that loss in a way that allows you to keep living and even find joy again.

Moving forward doesn’t mean rushing your grief—it means taking small, manageable steps when you’re ready. Here are some ways to start:

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings: It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or even numb. Give yourself permission to feel the way you feel. Cry if you need to, yell out loud.
2. Talk About It: Share your feelings with someone you trust, whether it’s a friend, family member, or coach.
3. Find a Creative Outlet: Journaling, painting, or even gardening can help process emotions.
4. Honor Their Memory: Create a tradition, like lighting a candle or visiting a special place, to keep their memory alive. My daughters and I let off balloons every year for my son's birthday. 
5. Take Care of Yourself: Eat well, rest, and get outside. Even a short walk can help.
6. Seek Support: Grief counseling or coaching can provide tools and guidance to navigate this journey. You do not have to do it alone, there is plenty of help out there for you.

My Grief Journal is a great starting point—it’s filled with prompts to help you process your emotions and reflect on your journey. You can get your copy by going to my website at annielewellyn.com or finding a link in the show notes for this podcast episode.

For me, getting support and learning to take small steps forward helped me not only heal but also find a new purpose. That’s why I became a life coach: to help other women who are navigating major life changes, just like I did.

Grief is a journey, not a destination. It’s messy, unpredictable, and deeply personal, but it doesn’t have to define you. By acknowledging your feelings, taking small steps, and seeking support, you can begin to move forward while honoring your loved ones.

If you're feeling stuck or uncertain about your next steps, I invite you to book a free 90-minute Purpose Reboot Session with me. Together, we’ll explore where you are, where you want to go, and the best options for getting the support you need to move forward with confidence. Visit AnnieLewellyn.com to schedule your session today!

Thank you for tuning into this week’s episode of Aspire and Achieve with Annie. I hope today’s discussion on grief gave you the inspiration and tools you need to move forward.

If you enjoyed this episode, please consider subscribing, leaving a review, and sharing it with a friend who might benefit from it. Your support means the world to me!

And don’t forget to check out the free resources available on my website at annielewellyn.com—they’re there to help you on your journey.

Join me next Monday at 7 am where we’re shifting gears to talk about Rediscovering Joy After Loss or Change. No matter what type of loss you are trying to overcome, we’ll dive into how to make this chapter one of the best yet. 

Until next time, remember: grief may shape you, but it doesn’t define you. You’re stronger than you think, and brighter days are ahead. Take care, and I’ll see you next week.