Divorce in Midlife: Picking Up the Pieces and Thriving

Today’s topic is one that’s very close to my heart: Divorce in Midlife. This isn’t just a subject I coach on; it’s something I’ve lived through—twice. And let me tell you, both experiences were life-changing in very different ways.

Transcript

Hello, and welcome back to Aspire and Achieve with Annie! I’m so happy you’re joining me for this deeply personal and important episode. Last week, we explored the emotional journey of becoming an empty nester and how to find purpose after the kids leave. If you missed it, be sure to catch up—you’ll find some great tips and a freebie to help you get started.

Today’s topic is one that’s very close to my heart: Divorce in Midlife. This isn’t just a subject I coach on; it’s something I’ve lived through—twice. And let me tell you, both experiences were life-changing in very different ways.

My first divorce left me as a single mom of four children, with no support and nothing to my name. I had to leave behind everything I owned because of the abuse I endured. It was one of the hardest decisions I ever made, but it was also one of the most empowering.

The second divorce? Well, that was a different kind of challenge. My ex-husband was a severe alcoholic, and it was a toxic situation that I couldn’t allow my children or myself to stay in. Thankfully, we were granted a lifetime restraining order to ensure our safety.

Those experiences taught me so much about resilience, self-compassion, and the power of rebuilding your life. That’s what we’re going to talk about today: how to navigate the pain and emotions of divorce, steps you can take toward recovery, and why support—like coaching—can be a game-changer in your journey to thrive.

And, as a special offer, I’m inviting you to schedule a free, one-time 90-minute call to see if working with me as your coach is the right step for you. You’ll find the link in the show notes or on my website.

Divorce is a loss, no matter the circumstances. Even if you know it’s the right decision, it can still feel like your world is falling apart.

You might experience:

• Grief: Mourning the loss of the relationship and the future you thought you’d have.
• Guilt: Wondering if you could’ve done more to make it work.
• Shame: Feeling like you’ve failed, even though divorce is never just one person’s fault.
• Fear: Worrying about how you’ll manage financially, emotionally, or as a single parent.

And then there are the practical challenges—adjusting to a new routine, co-parenting if you have kids, or even starting over entirely, like I did.

It’s important to recognize that these feelings are normal and to be expected. Divorce is a massive life transition, and it’s going to take time to process everything.

I want to share a little more about my own experiences because I know how isolating divorce can feel.

My first marriage ended after years of abuse. Leaving wasn’t easy—it meant I would be a single mom of four kids, with no financial support, no home, and no idea how I was going to make it. But I knew I deserved better, and so did my children. That leap of faith taught me that I was stronger than I ever realized. But don’t think I didn't experience the grief, the guilt, the shame, and the fear that most women experience.

My second divorce was a different kind of struggle. My ex-husband’s alcoholism made our lives chaotic and unsafe. It was a painful process, but securing a lifetime restraining order was the first step toward protecting my family and reclaiming my peace.

Each time, I had to start over completely. And each time, I learned more about myself, about what I deserved, and about how to build a life on my terms.

If you’re in the middle of this struggle, I want you to know: you can get through it. And not just that—you can thrive.

One of the most powerful tools in my recovery was setting intentions.

Intentions are like a compass—they guide your actions and mindset. Unlike goals, which focus on an end result, intentions are about how you want to feel and grow through the process.

For example:

• “I will treat myself with kindness as I heal.”
• “I will focus on building a supportive community around me.”
• “I will take one small step each day toward my new life.”

These simple shifts in mindset can help you move forward with clarity and purpose, even when things feel uncertain. You can learn more about setting intentions in episode 1 of this season.

After accepting those crappy emotions and setting intentions, you must learn how to start picking up the pieces. Here are some actionable steps:

1. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Divorce is hard. Know you’re doing the best you can and it will get better.
2. Surround Yourself with Support: Whether it’s friends, family, or a coach, having someone to lean on can make all the difference.Everyone needs support.
3. Focus on Your Well-Being: Exercise, eat well, and get enough sleep. Your physical health impacts your emotional health.Talk to a personal trainer or a nutritionalist.
4. Rediscover Yourself: Take this time to explore your interests, hobbies, and passions.
5. Consider Coaching: A one-on-one coaching session can help you gain clarity, set goals, and stay accountable as you rebuild your life. Many coaches like myself offer creative ways to make coaching affordable for you.

Recovery isn’t linear, but each small step you take is a step forward. Remember, you never see the rainbow until the storm has passed.

Today, we talked about the emotional challenges of divorce, my personal experiences with starting over, the power of setting intentions, and actionable steps for recovery. No matter where you are in the process, remember—you’re stronger than you think, and brighter days are ahead.

If you're feeling stuck or uncertain about your next steps, I invite you to book a free 90-minute Purpose Reboot Session with me. Together, we’ll explore where you are, where you want to go, and the best options for getting the support you need to move forward with confidence. Visit AnnieLewellyn.com to schedule your session today!

Thank you for tuning in to this week’s episode of Aspire and Achieve with Annie. I hope today’s discussion on Divorce in Midlife and Picking Up the Pieces gave you some inspiration and tools you need to move forward.

If you enjoyed this episode, please consider subscribing, leaving a review, and sharing it with a friend who might benefit from it. Your support means the world to me!

And don’t forget to check out the free resources available on my website at annielewellyn.com—they’re there to help you on your journey.

Join me next Monday at 7 am when we will explore Grief and Loss: Navigating Life After Losing Someone You Love. I’ll share my personal story of loss and offer guidance for finding hope and healing in the midst of grief.  Until then, remember: life’s challenges don’t define you—they shape you. You’ve got this!